A New Staging System for a Terminal Disease.

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My dear readers, it is with great regret that I relay the news to you that your author has been diagnosed with a terminal, incurable affliction similar to what you see in the picture above. You may think I’m talking about simple male pattern baldness.  But no, this is much more spontaneous, insidious, and frankly morally shameful. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it appears that I have the early stages of comb-over.

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