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The Lobby Christmas Tree

An Announcement from The Holy Profit Medical Center.

“Holy Profit Medical Center” is a series of fake satirical press releases and news articles from an imaginary hospital. . . 

The Holy Profit Medical Center today named Bess E. Morass to the new post of Executive Vice President in Charge of Lobby Christmas Tree.

“We are very excited to have Bess here”, said HPMC CEO Haywood Jabuzov. “Ms. Morass received her MBA from Northwestern Michigan University, which is nationally recognized as being slightly better than Southwestern Michigan University.”

Continue reading “The Lobby Christmas Tree”

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A New Staging System for a Terminal Disease.

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My dear readers, it is with great regret that I relay the news to you that your author has been diagnosed with a terminal, incurable affliction similar to what you see in the picture above. You may think I’m talking about simple male pattern baldness.  But no, this is much more spontaneous, insidious, and frankly morally shameful. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it appears that I have the early stages of comb-over.

Continue reading “A New Staging System for a Terminal Disease.”

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Diagnosis Texting

The Holy Profit Medical Center: Diagnosis Texting

“Holy Profit Medical Center” is a  series  of  fake satirical press releases and news articles  from an imaginary hospital. . . 

The Holy Profit Medical Center today announced a revolutionary new way of reaching out and communicating with our patients, by delivering test results via text message. Continue reading “Diagnosis Texting”